Thor's Stolen Hammer (Campfire Story)

One morning THOR, the god of thunder, woke up, stretched, and reached for his hammer, Mjolnir. It wasn't there. He looked under the bed. He looked behind the door. He looked in the woodshed. His hammer was gone.

THOR roared so loud the clouds shook. Without his hammer, there was nothing to keep the GIANTS from marching on Asgard, the home of the gods.

The trickster god LOKI borrowed a cloak of falcon feathers and flew off to find out what had happened. He found the answer sitting on a hill in giant-land, braiding golden collars for his dogs: Thrym, king of the GIANTS.

'Oh, I took it,' said Thrym, grinning. 'I've buried it eight miles under the earth. And you'll never get it back, unless you bring me the goddess Freyja to be my BRIDE.'

LOKI flew home with the news. THOR and LOKI marched straight to Freyja, the most beautiful of the goddesses, and told her to put on her wedding veil.

Freyja was so angry that she snorted, and the whole hall shook, and her famous golden necklace burst apart. 'Marry a giant? Me? Never!'

So all the gods gathered to think. At last Heimdall, the wise watchman of the gods, had an idea. 'Let's dress THOR as the BRIDE.'

'ABSOLUTELY NOT!' said THOR. 'Everyone will laugh at me!'

'Everyone will laugh a lot harder if the GIANTS take over Asgard,' said LOKI. 'Cheer up. I'll come along as your bridesmaid.'

So they dressed the god of thunder in a long white wedding gown. They hung Freyja's mended necklace around his neck, jingling keys at his belt, and a long veil over his face to hide his bushy red beard. LOKI put on a dress too, and the two of them rode off in a cart pulled by goats.

Thrym was delighted. 'My BRIDE is here!' He threw a great wedding feast and invited all the GIANTS.

And the BRIDE sat down and ate. THOR ate a whole ox. Then he ate eight whole salmon. Then all the little cakes that were meant for the ladies. Then he drank three barrels of mead.

Thrym stared. 'I've never seen a BRIDE eat like that!'

The clever bridesmaid leaned over. 'She was so excited to marry you,' said LOKI sweetly, 'that she hasn't eaten anything for eight days.'

'Aww,' said Thrym. And he leaned over to lift the veil and give his BRIDE a kiss. But when he peeked under it, he jumped back across the hall. 'Why are her eyes so fierce? They're burning like fire!'

'She was so excited to marry you,' said LOKI, 'that she hasn't slept for eight nights.'

'Aww,' said Thrym. 'Then let's finish the wedding! Bring out the hammer to bless my BRIDE!' For in the old days, a hammer was laid in the bride's lap for good luck.

So the GIANTS dug up Mjolnir and carried it in, and laid it right in the lap of the BRIDE.

And under the veil, THOR smiled.

He grabbed his hammer, threw back the veil, and stood up in his wedding dress with his red beard bristling. THOR! THOR! THOR! And that was the end of the wedding, and the end of Thrym's plans.

THOR rode home with his hammer across his knees, still in his gown. And he made every god in Asgard promise never, ever to mention the wedding again. Which, of course, is why we're telling it tonight.

Storyteller tips: teach the cues before you start. The BRIDE cue is the star, so pause before every one and let the crowd giggle it. Loki's two excuses are the biggest laughs, so give Thrym a dopey "Aww" each time and let the audience say it with him.

Retold from the Thrymskvida, an Old Norse poem in the Poetic Edda, written down in Iceland in the 1200s and much older than that.