Robin Hood and the Butcher (Campfire Story)

One morning in Sherwood Forest, ROBIN HOOD met a butcher on the road, driving a cart full of meat to sell at the market in Nottingham.

'Good morning, butcher!' said Robin. 'How much for your horse, your cart, your apron and all your meat?'

The butcher scratched his head. 'Oh, I'd say about four gold coins.'

'I'll give you five,' said Robin. The butcher couldn't believe his luck. He took the money and walked home whistling, and ROBIN HOOD put on the apron and drove the cart into Nottingham.

Now, Robin didn't know the first thing about being a butcher. All the other butchers in the market were selling three pennies' worth of meat for three pennies. But Robin set up his stall and shouted, 'Fresh meat! Three pennies' worth for one penny! BARGAIN!'

Well, every poor family in Nottingham came running. And if a poor widow came by, Robin gave her twice as much. And if a hungry child came by, Robin gave him a whole roast and wouldn't take a penny. BARGAIN! In an hour, the cart was empty and the whole town was talking about the new butcher.

The other butchers were furious. 'He must be a rich man's son who's spent all his father's money,' they grumbled. 'Let's tell the SHERIFF.'

The SHERIFF of Nottingham was the greediest man in England. When he heard about a fool who was giving away his money, his eyes lit up like candles. He invited the new butcher to dinner.

At dinner, ROBIN HOOD ate the Sheriff's food and laughed and told jokes, and even offered to pay for the whole meal. The SHERIFF leaned in close. 'Butcher, my friend. Do you have any cattle to sell?'

'Oh, yes,' said Robin. 'I have three hundred horned beasts, grazing in a forest not far from here. You can have the lot for, oh, three hundred gold coins.'

Three hundred cattle for three hundred coins! A BARGAIN! The SHERIFF could sell them for ten times that. He grabbed a bag of gold, saddled his horse, and the next morning rode out with the butcher to see the herd.

They rode out of Nottingham, and down the road, and into the trees. Deeper and deeper. The Sheriff began to look nervous. 'Butcher... this is Sherwood Forest. I hope we don't meet that rascal Robin Hood out here.'

'Oh, I wouldn't worry about him,' said Robin.

Just then, a herd of deer bounded across the path in front of them. A hundred of them, two hundred, three hundred, with great branching antlers.

'There they are!' said Robin. 'My three hundred horned beasts. Aren't they fine?'

The SHERIFF went as white as a sheet. And then ROBIN HOOD put his horn to his lips and blew three times, and out of the trees stepped Little John, and Will Scarlet, and Friar Tuck, and all the Merry Men.

'Welcome to Sherwood, Sheriff!' said Robin, taking off his apron. 'You'll stay for dinner, of course.'

And they gave the Sheriff the finest dinner of his life: roast venison, fresh bread, honey cakes and songs by the fire. And when it was over, Robin smiled and said, 'Now, about the bill.' And he took the Sheriff's whole bag of gold. 'For the dinner. Last night you let me pay. It's only fair.'

Then they put the SHERIFF back on his horse, backwards, facing the tail, and sent him trotting home to Nottingham.

And the next week, every poor family in Nottingham found a few gold coins on their doorstep. Nobody knew where they came from. But everybody agreed it was the best BARGAIN they'd ever had.

Storyteller tips: the "three hundred horned beasts" line is the whole trick, so say it straight and let the audience figure it out when the deer show up. A good story to talk about generosity, and about how greed makes people easy to fool.

Based on the ballads "Robin Hood and the Butcher" (Child Ballad 122) and "Robin Hood and the Bishop of Hereford."