Babe the Blue Ox Straightens the Crooked Road (Campfire Story)

There once was a road in the north woods that was the crookedest road in the world. It twisted like a snake with the hiccups. It curled around hills and doubled back on itself and tied itself into loops. It had so many bends that the wagon drivers who used it got dizzy, and the horses walked sideways for a week afterward.

The worst part was that the road was so crooked, the drivers kept meeting themselves coming back. A teamster would start out in the morning with a load of logs, and by noon he'd pass a wagon going the other way, and the man driving it would look exactly like him. They'd tip their hats to each other, very politely, and only later realize they'd just waved to themselves.

The road ran right past PAUL BUNYAN's camp, and the crew had had enough. 'Paul,' they said, 'it takes us three days to haul a load of logs four miles. Can't you do something about that road?'

Paul looked at the road. He scratched his beard. Then he smiled and whistled, and the ground started to shake as BABE the Blue Ox came running.

Paul tied one end of a giant logging chain around the far end of the road, the end that disappeared off into the hills. He hooked the other end to BABE's harness. Then he patted Babe on the nose. 'All right, Babe. Nice and easy. Pull.'

BABE leaned into the harness. The chain went tight. The whole crew grabbed hold to help. 'HEAVE!'

The road groaned. The trees along it shook. And then, way off in the woods, the first bend in the road straightened out. KINK!

'HEAVE!' Another curve snapped out straight. KINK! Then another one. KINK! KINK! KINK! All up and down the road the twists and loops and doubled-back bends came popping loose, one after another, like a long rope being shaken out.

'One more!' shouted PAUL BUNYAN. 'HEAVE!'

BABE gave one last mighty pull. The very last kink, the biggest, twistiest knot of all, came out with a KINK so loud that it knocked the birds out of their nests. And there lay the road, straight as a ruler, all the way to the edge of the sky.

There was just one problem. When you pull all the crooks out of a crooked road, the road gets a whole lot longer. There were thirty miles of extra road piled up in a heap behind Babe, with nowhere to go.

Paul thought about it. Then he rolled up the extra road like a carpet, hauled it out to the middle of the prairie, and unrolled it there. The folks on the prairie were tickled to have it. And if you've ever driven across the plains on a road that runs dead straight for miles and miles, you know exactly where it came from.

As for BABE, Paul gave him a whole wagonload of hay and a bucket of molasses for dessert. He'd earned it.

Storyteller tips: have everyone hold the invisible rope and lean back on each HEAVE. Let a few KINKs pop from different spots around the fire before the big final one.