The Siberian Chicken Farmer
| Category: | Wordplay & Puns |
|---|---|
| Category: | Historical / Cultural |
| Props: | None |
| Notes: | This is a repetitive skit set in Soviet-era Siberia. The Farmer should have a heavy accent. The Police should be stern and threatening. The punchline about feeding chickens rubles escalates perfectly. Great for teaching about historical context! |
[Farmer:] Here, chick chick chick ... Here, chick chick ... chick ...
(Two military times come up behind the farmer.)
[Police:] Comrade! Vat are you doink?
[Farmer:] I'm feedink my chickens.
[Police:] Vat are you feedink dem, Comrade?
[Farmer:] Corn.
[Police:] Fool! There is a shortage of corn!!!
(They beat him up. Oof. Ow.)
[Police:] (dragging him away) Three years in the work camps for you!
[Narrator:] Three years later, ...
[Farmer:] Here, chick chick chick ... Here, chick chick ... chick ...
(Two military times come up behind the farmer.)
[Farmer:] (stands up) Uh oh ...
[Police:] Comrade! Vat are you doink?
[Farmer:] I'm feedink my chickens.
[Police:] Vat are you feedink dem, Comrade?
[Farmer:] Wheat.
[Police:] Fool! There is a shortage of wheat!!!
(They beat him up. Oof. Ow.)
[Police:] (dragging him away) Five years in the work camps for you!
[Narrator:] Five years later, ...
[Farmer:] Here, chick chick chick ... Here, chick chick chick ... chick ...
(Two military times come up behind the farmer.)
[Farmer:] (stands up) Uh oh.
[Police:] Comrade! Vat are you doink?
[Farmer:] I'm feedink my chickens.
[Police:] Vat are you feedink them, Comrade?
[Farmer:] Rubles.
[Police:] Rubles? But vy are you feedink them rubles, Comrade?
[Farmer:] They can buy their own food!
(Freeze. Blackout.)