The Eye Test
| Category: | Wordplay & Puns |
|---|---|
| Category: | Physical Comedy & Slapstick |
| Props: | Eye chart (can be mimed), pointer |
| Notes: | This is a classic pun skit. The Doctor should be serious and professional. The Patient should genuinely struggle with the test. The final punchline relies on the word "see" having multiple meanings. |
([Doctor] stands next to eye chart. [Patient] enters.)
[Doctor:] Hello! You're here for an eye exam today?
[Patient:] Yes, I've been having trouble seeing things clearly.
[Doctor:] Well, let's test your vision. Please stand over here and read the chart.
([Patient] stands facing the chart.)
[Doctor:] Can you read the top line?
[Patient:] (squinting) Is that... an E?
[Doctor:] Correct! How about the next line?
[Patient:] F... P... Z...
[Doctor:] Very good! Keep going.
[Patient:] (squinting harder) T... O... Z... I think?
[Doctor:] Close enough. Next line.
[Patient:] (really struggling) P... E... ... I can't make out the rest.
[Doctor:] Hmm. How about the bottom line? Can you read any of it?
[Patient:] (squinting and leaning forward) I can see... something... but I can't make out what the letters are.
[Doctor:] Try covering one eye and reading with the other.
([Patient] covers one eye, squints at chart.)
[Patient:] Nope. Still can't see it clearly.
[Doctor:] Try the other eye.
([Patient] switches, covers other eye.)
[Patient:] Maybe a little better? But still blurry.
[Doctor:] All right, I'm going to need to get you some glasses. Your vision is definitely not perfect.
[Patient:] (sadly) I was afraid of that. How bad is it, Doctor?
[Doctor:] Well, let me put it this way... Can you see that chart clearly from where you're standing?
[Patient:] No, not really.
[Doctor:] Can you see ME clearly?
[Patient:] Sort of. You're a bit fuzzy.
[Doctor:] Can you see anything in this room clearly?
[Patient:] (looking around) Not really, no.
[Doctor:] (dramatically) Then... you must be BLIND!
[Patient:] (shocked) BLIND?! But I can see SOME things!
[Doctor:] Oh, I don't mean you can't see at all...
[Patient:] Then what do you mean?
[Doctor:] (grinning) I mean... don't you SEE? You need glasses!
([Patient] groans loudly.)
[Patient:] That's the worst pun I've ever heard!
[Doctor:] Really? You didn't SEE it coming?
([Patient] walks offstage shaking their head, while [Doctor] laughs at their own joke.)
(Freeze. Blackout.)