The Dentist
| Category: | Physical Comedy & Slapstick |
|---|---|
| Category: | Gross-Out Humor |
| Props: | Chair, dental tools (can be mimed or use silly substitutes like pliers, saw, etc.) |
| Notes: | The Dentist should be overly cheerful while the Patient should be increasingly terrified. Exaggerate the sounds and actions for comedic effect. This skit plays on common dental fears. |
([Dentist] stands cheerfully next to a chair. [Patient] enters nervously.)
[Dentist:] (brightly) Hello! Welcome to my dental office! Come, sit down!
[Patient:] (hesitantly) Hi, Doctor. I'm a little nervous about this...
[Dentist:] Nervous? There's nothing to be nervous about! I LOVE teeth! Please, have a seat!
([Patient] sits in chair reluctantly.)
[Dentist:] Now, open wide and say "Ahhhhh!"
[Patient:] Ahhhhh...
([Dentist] leans in close, peering into [Patient]'s mouth.)
[Dentist:] Hmm... yes... I see... very interesting...
[Patient:] (muffled, mouth still open) Ish evvyfing okay?
[Dentist:] Oh yes! You have a lovely set of teeth! But I do see a small cavity.
[Patient:] (closing mouth) A cavity? Is it bad?
[Dentist:] Nothing I can't fix! Let me get my drill!
([Dentist] pulls out a large, obviously fake drill or makes exaggerated drill sounds.)
[Dentist:] BRRRRRRR! BRRRRRRR!
[Patient:] (alarmed) That's a very BIG drill!
[Dentist:] (cheerfully) Oh, this is my SMALL drill! You should see the big one!
[Patient:] (nervously) Maybe I don't need the cavity filled today...
[Dentist:] Nonsense! Open up! This will only take a second!
([Patient] reluctantly opens mouth. [Dentist] starts "drilling" - making loud noises.)
[Dentist:] BRRRRRRRR! BRRRRRRRR!
([Patient] makes pained, muffled sounds.)
[Dentist:] (shouting over drill sounds) SO! WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?
[Patient:] (muffled, mouth full) MMMMPH!
[Dentist:] THAT'S NICE! I USED TO DO THAT TOO!
([Dentist] stops drilling.)
[Dentist:] Almost done! I just need to use the water pick!
([Dentist] makes spraying sounds while miming spraying water into [Patient]'s mouth. [Patient] sputters and gags.)
[Dentist:] Whoops! Sorry! Too much water! Let me suction that out!
([Dentist] makes loud vacuuming sounds. [Patient]'s cheeks puff out comically as if being suctioned.)
[Patient:] (gagging) MMMMPH!
[Dentist:] (removing suction) All done! That wasn't so bad, was it?
([Patient] spits comically, catching breath.)
[Patient:] (weakly) Is it... over?
[Dentist:] (brightly) Over? That was just the cavity! Now we need to do your cleaning!
[Patient:] Cleaning?!
[Dentist:] And then X-rays! And I think I see another cavity on the other side!
([Patient] jumps out of chair.)
[Patient:] You know what? My tooth feels MUCH better now! All healed! Goodbye!
([Patient] runs offstage.)
[Dentist:] (calling after) Don't forget to floss! And come back in six months!
([Dentist] looks at tools, shrugs.)
[Dentist:] (to audience) I don't understand why people are afraid of the dentist!
(Freeze. Blackout.)