The Airplane Ride
| Category: | Physical Comedy & Slapstick |
|---|---|
| Category: | Audience Participation |
| Props: | Chairs arranged in rows (optional) |
| Notes: | This skit is similar to the roller coaster but with airplane turbulence. The passengers should react in unison to all the movements. The Pilot's announcements should contrast hilariously with what's happening. |
([Pilot] stands to the side. [Passengers] sit in rows as if on airplane. [Flight Attendant] stands in aisle.)
[Pilot:] (over intercom) Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard flight 777 to Nowhere.
[Flight Attendant:] Please fasten your seatbelts. We're preparing for takeoff.
([Passengers] mime fastening seatbelts.)
[Pilot:] (over intercom) Flight attendants, prepare for departure.
(Sound of engines starting. [Passengers] start vibrating slightly.)
[Passenger 1:] Here we go!
(Plane "takes off" - all [Passengers] lean back in seats as if accelerating, then level off.)
[Pilot:] (over intercom) We've reached our cruising altitude of 30,000 feet. Sit back, relax, and enjoy your flight.
([Passengers] relax, some mime reading, others sleeping.)
[Flight Attendant:] Would anyone like peanuts?
(Suddenly, plane shakes. [Passengers] jolt to the side.)
[Passenger 2:] What was that?
[Flight Attendant:] (calmly) Just a little turbulence.
(Another shake, stronger. [Passengers] jolt the other direction.)
[Passenger 3:] That was a BIG bump!
[Pilot:] (over intercom, calm) Folks, we're experiencing some minor turbulence. Please return to your seats.
(Plane shakes violently. [Passengers] bounce in seats, hold onto armrests.)
[All Passengers:] WHOA!
(Plane drops suddenly. [Passengers] float up from seats briefly, then drop back down.)
[Passenger 1:] (screaming) WE'RE FALLING!
[Pilot:] (over intercom, still calm) That was an air pocket. Nothing to worry about.
(Plane tilts hard left. [Passengers] all lean left together.)
[Passenger 2:] Why are we tilting?!
(Plane tilts hard right. [Passengers] all lean right.)
[Passenger 3:] We're going to crash!
[Flight Attendant:] (stumbling down aisle, trying to stay calm) Please remain calm!
(Plane does a loop - [Passengers] lean back, then forward, then back, making screaming sounds.)
[All Passengers:] AHHHHHHHH!
[Pilot:] (over intercom, still eerily calm) Sorry about that, folks. I dropped my coffee and had to pick it up. Everything's under control now.
([Passengers] stare at each other in disbelief.)
[Passenger 1:] He was picking up COFFEE?!
(Plane suddenly shakes violently again and makes sputtering sounds.)
[Pilot:] (over intercom) Uh, ladies and gentlemen, I have good news and bad news.
[All Passengers:] WHAT?!
[Pilot:] The bad news is we've lost an engine.
([Passengers] gasp and grab each other.)
[Pilot:] The good news is... we have three more engines!
([Passengers] relax slightly.)
[Pilot:] The bad news is... I can't remember where I put them.
([Passengers] scream.)
[Pilot:] Just kidding! We're beginning our descent. Please prepare for landing.
(Plane angles down sharply. [Passengers] lean forward dramatically.)
[Passenger 2:] This doesn't feel like a normal landing!
(Plane bounces - [Passengers] bounce up and down repeatedly.)
[Flight Attendant:] (holding onto something) We're almost there!
(Huge bump. [Passengers] jolt hard, then slowly relax.)
[Pilot:] (over intercom, cheerful) Welcome to your destination! We apologize for the rough flight. Please fly with us again!
([Passengers] slowly stand, disheveled, hair messed up, looking traumatized.)
[Passenger 1:] (weakly) Never again...
[Passenger 2:] I'm taking the bus next time...
[Passenger 3:] (stumbling) Where's the ground? I need to kiss the ground...
([All Passengers] stumble offstage.)
[Flight Attendant:] (brightly, to audience) Thank you for flying with us! We hope to see you on a future flight!
(Freeze. Blackout.)