The Submarine
| Category: | Physical Comedy & Slapstick |
|---|---|
| Category: | Absurdist / Nonsense Skits |
| Props: | Optional: chairs arranged like submarine controls, cardboard periscope |
| Notes: | The crew should make diving sounds and mechanical noises. The leak sequence should build tension, with increasingly panicked reactions. Great physical comedy opportunity! |
([Captain] stands at center with [Crew Members] at various positions around him, miming submarine controls.)
[Captain:] All right, crew! Prepare to dive!
[Crew Member 1:] Aye aye, Captain! Closing hatches!
[Crew Member 2:] All systems ready, sir!
[Captain:] Take her down! Dive! Dive! Dive!
(All crew members make diving alarm sounds: "Ahhh-OOOO-gah! Ahhh-OOOO-gah!" and mime descending motion.)
[Crew Member 1:] Passing 50 feet, Captain!
[Crew Member 2:] Passing 100 feet!
[Crew Member 3:] Passing 150 feet!
[Captain:] Level off at 200 feet. Steady as she goes.
(Suddenly, [Crew Member 1] notices something and points.)
[Crew Member 1:] Captain! I see water on the floor!
[Captain:] What? Where?
[Crew Member 1:] Right there, sir! A small puddle!
[Captain:] Find that leak! Search everywhere!
(All crew members scramble around, looking high and low, checking walls, floor, ceiling.)
[Crew Member 2:] The water's getting deeper, Captain!
[Crew Member 3:] It's up to our ankles!
[Captain:] Keep searching! That leak has to be somewhere!
(More frantic searching. The crew starts making sloshing sounds with their feet.)
[Crew Member 1:] Captain! Water's up to our knees now!
[Crew Member 2:] We're sinking!
[Captain:] Don't panic! Keep looking!
(Even more frantic activity. Crew is now clearly "wading" through water.)
[Crew Member 3:] It's up to our waists, sir!
[Crew Member 1:] Captain, we're all going to drown!
[Captain:] Wait! I found it! I found the leak!
[All Crew:] Where? Where?
([Captain] points dramatically upward at the ceiling.)
[Captain:] Right there! In the ceiling!
[Crew Member 1:] The ceiling? How can there be a leak in the ceiling of a submarine?
[Captain:] We're in a submarine that's UPSIDE DOWN!
(All crew members flip upside down or do handstands. Freeze. Blackout.)