The School for Liars
| Category: | Wordplay & Puns |
|---|---|
| Category: | Misunderstanding / Clever Confusion |
| Props: | Optional: podium or desk for Teacher |
| Notes: | The Teacher should be very serious and professional. Students should deliver their outrageous lies with straight faces. The escalation of absurdity is key to the humor! |
([Teacher] stands at front of "classroom" with several [Students] sitting.)
[Teacher:] Good morning, class! Welcome to the School for Liars! Today we will practice the ancient art of telling lies. Now, who would like to go first?
([Student 1] raises hand.)
[Student 1:] I will, Teacher!
[Teacher:] Excellent! Please tell us your lie.
[Student 1:] Yesterday... I caught a fish THIS big!
([Student 1] holds hands about 2 feet apart.)
[Teacher:] Not bad, not bad! But you can do better! Bigger lie! Who's next?
([Student 2] raises hand enthusiastically.)
[Student 2:] Teacher! I have one!
[Teacher:] Go ahead!
[Student 2:] Last week... I saw a bear... and it was TEN FEET TALL!
([Student 2] stands on tiptoes, reaching up high.)
[Teacher:] Better! Better! The lie is growing! But we need MORE! Who can tell an even BIGGER lie?
([Student 3] shoots hand into the air.)
[Student 3:] Me! Me! Teacher!
[Teacher:] Yes, yes! Tell us!
[Student 3:] Last month... I climbed a mountain... that was SO TALL... the top was in OUTER SPACE!
([Student 3] makes dramatic climbing gestures.)
[Teacher:] Magnificent! Now we're getting somewhere! But can anyone top that? The BIGGEST lie of all?
([Student 4] stands up slowly, looking confident.)
[Student 4:] I can, Teacher.
[Teacher:] Oh? This should be good! Let's hear it!
[Student 4:] Last year... I was walking down the street... and I found a wallet full of money...
(Pause for effect.)
[Student 4:] ...and I returned it to the owner without keeping any!
(All other students gasp in shock. [Teacher] staggers backward, amazed.)
[Teacher:] IMPOSSIBLE! That is the BIGGEST lie I have ever heard!
([Student 4] takes a proud bow.)
[Teacher:] Class is dismissed! We have a winner!
(All students applaud and exit. Blackout.)