Peril at the Sawmill (Scout Skit)

(Cast: the Narrator, the VILLAIN Silas Snarl, Sweet NELL, the HERO Hal Hartwell, one Scout as the Log, one Scout as the SAW, and optional Scouts with a kazoo for music. The actors never speak. They act out everything the Narrator reads, as big and slow as an old silent movie.)

[Narrator:] Once upon a time, there was a beautiful campground called Whispering Pines, where Scouts camped every summer. And there lived the camp ranger's daughter, our sweet NELL.

(NELL skips in, waves to the audience, and smells a flower.)

[Narrator:] But the camp had a terrible secret. The mortgage was held by the VILLAIN, Silas Snarl!

(The VILLAIN creeps in, waving the mortgage and twirling his mustache.)

[Narrator:] 'Pay me one thousand dollars by sundown,' he sneered, 'or I'll turn Whispering Pines into a parking lot!'

(NELL clutches her heart and nearly faints.)

[Narrator:] But brave NELL had a plan. The Scouts had been selling popcorn all fall, and the money tin held exactly one thousand dollars!

(NELL proudly holds up the popcorn tin. The VILLAIN snatches it and hides it behind his back.)

[Narrator:] The VILLAIN snatched the tin! And then, with a wicked laugh, he dragged poor NELL to the old sawmill.

(The Log lies down stiff on the ground. The VILLAIN sets NELL on top of it.)

[Narrator:] He tied her to a log and set the log rolling, slowly, slowly, toward the terrible SAW!

(The SAW stands at the end of the stage, spinning both arms in big circles. The Log inches forward, carrying NELL.)

[Narrator:] Closer and closer to the SAW! Is there no one to help? Wait! Who's that? It's our HERO, Hal Hartwell!

(The HERO bursts in and strikes a heroic pose.)

[Narrator:] Our HERO raced to the great iron levers that worked the mill. He pulled the first lever!

(The HERO yanks an invisible lever. Everyone freezes.)

[Narrator:] It rang the dinner bell. Clang, clang! Come and get it!

(The VILLAIN, the SAW and even the Log look up hopefully, then go back to work.)

[Narrator:] Closer came the SAW! Our HERO pulled the second lever!

[Narrator:] It turned on the camp sprinklers, and drenched the VILLAIN from head to toe!

(The VILLAIN shivers and wrings out his mustache.)

[Narrator:] Inches from the SAW! Our HERO pulled the third and final lever, and the SAW slowed, and slowed, and stopped!

(The SAW winds down, arms spinning slower and slower, until they droop.)

[Narrator:] Our HERO untied NELL, grabbed the popcorn tin back, and paid the mortgage on the spot. Whispering Pines was saved!

(The HERO hands the tin to the VILLAIN, who stamps his foot and shakes his fist at the sky.)

[Silas:] Curses! Foiled again!

[Hal:] My darling NELL!

[Nell:] My HERO!

(He kisses her hand. SMOOCH!)

[Narrator:] And they all lived happily ever after. The end.

[Saw:] (still drooping) Can I stop buzzing now? My lips went numb two levers ago.

Tips: the Narrator sets the pace and leads every audience cue, so pause after each cue word for the boo, sigh, cheer or buzz. The actors' job is to overdo everything: big gestures, slow motion, silent screams. A kazoo playing dum-dum-DUMMM after every VILLAIN line is a bonus.

The only spoken lines from the cast are the last four, which is why the SAW's final complaint gets the laugh.