Cub Olympics
| Category: | Physical Comedy & Slapstick |
|---|---|
| Category: | Absurdist / Nonsense Skits |
| Props: | Jump rope, toy blocks or cardboard boxes, towel or mat, optional medals |
| Notes: | Perfect for Cub Scout packs! Each event should be short and funny. Athletes should be very serious while doing silly things. The Announcer ties it all together with enthusiasm. Can add more events if desired! |
([Announcer] stands at center stage with great enthusiasm.)
[Announcer:] Welcome, everyone, to the First Annual Cub Scout Olympics! Today we'll see our finest young athletes compete in the world's most challenging events!
(Audience applauds.)
[Announcer:] Our first event-the 100-Meter Crawl!
([Athlete 1] and [Athlete 2] get down on hands and knees at one side of stage.)
[Announcer:] On your marks! Get set! GO!
(Both athletes crawl across stage as slowly as possible, stopping to scratch, yawn, look around, tie shoes, etc.)
[Announcer:] What incredible form! Look at that technique! And [Athlete 1] pulls ahead! No, wait! [Athlete 2] is catching up!
(Athletes continue crawling in slow motion until finally reaching the other side.)
[Announcer:] What a finish! [Athlete 1] wins by a nose! Literally-by a nose!
(Athletes exit. Audience applauds.)
[Announcer:] Next up-Synchronized Jumping Jacks!
([Athlete 3] and [Athlete 4] step forward and face audience.)
[Announcer:] These two athletes will perform jumping jacks in perfect synchronization! And... begin!
([Athlete 3] does jumping jacks normally. [Athlete 4] does them completely wrong-arms and legs totally out of sync, jumping at weird times, facing the wrong direction.)
[Announcer:] Remarkable! Perfect synchronization! You can't even tell them apart!
(After several more terrible jumping jacks, they stop.)
[Announcer:] A flawless performance! The judges give them a perfect 10!
(Athletes bow and exit.)
[Announcer:] And now-the High Stack! Athletes will stack blocks as high as possible!
([Athlete 5] comes out with toy blocks or cardboard boxes.)
[Announcer:] And... GO!
([Athlete 5] carefully stacks one block. Then another. Then another. Stack gets wobbly.)
[Announcer:] Oh! This is tense! Can they place the fourth block?
([Athlete 5] very carefully places fourth block. Stack sways but holds.)
[Announcer:] They're going for five! This could be a new world record!
([Athlete 5] reaches for fifth block, and the whole stack falls over.)
[Athlete 5:] NOOOOOO!
[Announcer:] Oh! A devastating collapse! But still an impressive four blocks! Let's give them a hand!
(Audience applauds. [Athlete 5] exits sadly.)
[Announcer:] Now for our most challenging event-Competitive Sleeping!
([Athlete 6] and [Athlete 7] lie down on floor with towels or mats.)
[Announcer:] The rules are simple-first one to fall asleep wins! And... begin!
(Both athletes close their eyes and lie very still. Long awkward pause.)
[Announcer:] (Whispering.) This is intense! Both athletes showing incredible concentration!
(Another long pause. One athlete starts to snore softly.)
[Announcer:] (Still whispering.) Wait! I think we have movement! [Athlete 6] appears to be entering deep sleep!
(Both athletes suddenly start snoring loudly and rolling around.)
[Announcer:] (Normal volume.) It's too close to call! They're BOTH asleep! We'll have to declare this one a tie!
(Pause. Athletes keep snoring.)
[Announcer:] Uh... athletes? You can wake up now.
(Athletes keep snoring.)
[Announcer:] ATHLETES! WAKE UP! THE EVENT IS OVER!
(Athletes suddenly sit up, confused.)
[Both Athletes:] Did we win?
[Announcer:] Yes! You both win! Now please exit the stage!
(Athletes stumble off stage sleepily.)
[Announcer:] And that concludes the First Annual Cub Scout Olympics! Thank you for coming! Good night!
(Take a bow. Blackout.)