The Singing Scoutmaster: A Genius at This and That

[Narrator:] Before I tell the story, I'll divide the audience into 5 groups and assign each a part-a sound and action each group makes at the mention of a certain word. I'll pause after each capitalized word. The words and their responses are: NORMAN - Say "Oh, my!" and raise both hands RIGHT - Say "This!" and raise right hand LEFT - Say "That!" and raise left hand THIS - Say "Right!" and raise right hand THAT - Say "Left!" and raise left hand GENIUS - All clap and Cheer! Well, now that everyone is entirely confused, let's begin! [Narrator:] This is the story of NORMAN, a boy who wanted very much to be a GENIUS. But, no matter how hard he tried, it just didn't work out. You see, NORMAN had a problem-he could not tell RIGHT from LEFT. At school, the teacher would say, "When you know the answer, raise your RIGHT hand." By the time NORMAN figured which hand was which, it was too late! At home it was the same thing. It was, "NORMAN, you have your LEFT shoe on your RIGHT foot." Things weren't any better outside. In football, they would send him in at LEFT end and he would be RIGHT. In baseball, they'd yell, "NORMAN, move to your LEFT!" He'd move RIGHT. Poor NORMAN! No matter what he did, it wasn't RIGHT! or LEFT! But NORMAN was determined! Finally, he figured out what to do. He'd call it THIS and THAT. THIS for RIGHT and THAT for LEFT. Somehow, it all seemed easier. And in no time, he had it down pat. One day, while NORMAN was home alone, a burglar forced his way in. NORMAN was frightened! The burglar asked where his mother's jewels and furs were. NORMAN said, "In the closet." But when the burglar said, "Which way is THAT?" NORMAN, of course, answered, "LEFT." The burglar followed these instructions and found himself in the kitchen! Being a smart burglar he said, "THIS isn't RIGHT!" and NORMAN said, "Oh, yes it is-but you asked for THAT!" The burglar became angry and said, "Now listen, I asked where the closet is, do you understand THAT?" And NORMAN answered, "Oh, yes, THAT is LEFT!" The burglar said, "THIS is enough!" And NORMAN said, "Oh, no, THIS is RIGHT!" Exasperated, the burglar said, "Oh, forget it! Just tell me where the closet is!" And NORMAN said, "Turn THIS." But naturally, the burglar misunderstood and turned the knob on the door in front of him, and plunged headlong down the basement stairs. Just then, NORMAN's parents came home, and when he told them what had happened, his father said the words he'd been waiting so very long to hear, "NORMAN, you're a GENIUS!"