The Singing Scoutmaster: Boy Named Sue, A

GMy daddy left home when I was three

CAnd he didn't leave much to ma and me

DJust this old guitar and an empty bottle of Gbooze.

GNow, I don't blame him cause he run and hid

CBut the meanest thing that he ever did

DWas before he left, he went and named me 'GSue.'

GWell, he must o' thought that is quite a joke

CAnd it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk,

DIt seems I had to fight my whole life Gthrough.

GSome gal would giggle and I'd get red

CAnd some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head,

I tell ya, Dlife ain't easy for a boy named 'GSue.'

GWell, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,

CMy fist got hard and my wits got keen,

DI'd roam from town to town to hide my Gshame.

GBut I made a vow to the moon and stars

CThat I'd search the honky-tonks and bars

DAnd kill that man who gave me that awful Gname.

GWell, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July

CAnd I just hit town and my throat was dry,

DI thought I'd stop and have myself a Gbrew.

GAt an old saloon on a street of mud,

CThere at a table, dealing stud,

DSat the dirty, mangy dog that named me 'GSue.'

GWell, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad

CFrom a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,

DAnd I knew that scar on his cheek and his Gevil eye.

GHe was big and bent and gray and old,

CAnd I looked at him and my blood ran cold

DAnd I said: 'My name is 'Sue!' GHow do you do!

Now you gonna die!!'

GWell, I hit him hard right between the eyes

CAnd he went down, but to my surprise,

DHe come up with a knife and cut off a Gpiece of my ear.

GBut I busted a chair right across his teeth

CAnd we crashed through the wall and into the street

DKicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and Gthe beer.

GI tell ya, I've fought tougher men

CBut I really can't remember when,

DHe kicked like a mule and he bit like a Gcrocodile.

GI heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,

CHe went for his gun and I pulled mine first,

DHe stood there lookin' at me and I saw him Gsmile.

GAnd he said: 'Son, this world is rough

CAnd if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough

DAnd I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya Galong.

GSo I give ya that name and I said goodbye

CI knew you'd have to get tough or die

DAnd it's the name that helped to make you Gstrong.'

GHe said: 'Now you just fought one hell of a fight

CAnd I know you hate me, and you got the right

DTo kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you Gdo.

GBut ya ought to thank me, before I die,

CFor the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye

DCause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you 'GSue.'

GI got all choked up and I threw down my gun

CAnd I called him my pa, and he called me his son,

DAnd I came away with a different point of Gview.

GAnd I think about him, now and then,

CEvery time I try and every time I win,

NCAnd if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him

GBill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!