Forgiveness - Forgiving Isn't Saying It Was Okay
| Category: | Forgiveness |
|---|---|
| Notes: | Best for older Scouts. Clarifies that forgiveness doesn't mean excusing harm, staying silent about it, or putting yourself back in a hurtful situation. If a Scout is being harmed, the right step is to tell a trusted adult. Follow youth protection procedures. Pairs with the other Forgiveness minutes. |
Scouts hear a lot about forgiveness. Let go of grudges. Give second chances. And that's good advice. But sometimes people get confused about what forgiveness actually means.
So let me tell you what it doesn't mean.
Forgiving someone doesn't mean saying that what they did was okay. If someone hurt you, it hurt. Forgiveness doesn't erase that.
Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to trust them again right away. Trust gets rebuilt slowly, by people showing over time that they've changed. You can forgive someone and still be careful around them.
And forgiving someone definitely doesn't mean keeping quiet when something is wrong. If someone is hurting you, or hurting someone else, you tell a trusted adult. That's not holding a grudge. That's keeping people safe.
So what does forgiveness mean? It means you decide to stop carrying the anger around. You stop replaying it, stop plotting revenge, stop letting it take up space in your head. You let it go, mostly for your own sake.
That's a choice you make for you. It doesn't depend on the other person apologizing, and it doesn't mean you have to be best friends again.
Forgiveness sets you free. It doesn't mean you have to go back to the same place that hurt you.